Holistic Holidays: If I Were in Charge
Move
over, Columbus Day, you've caused enough discord! Step aside, Presidents'
Day, you've been taken over by furniture sales! It's long overdue that we
come up with some new holidays, and I've got a few to propose. Holidays
that can heal! Holidays that can grab us by the collar and throw us
around! If I were in charge, I would proclaim these:
That March 1st (Glenn Miller’s birthday) be declared National Music
Airdrop Day. On this day, all across the country planes would fly over
neighborhoods and airdrop musical instruments. Just imagine—banjos, ukuleles,
bongos, harmonicas wafting down on parachutes onto the yards and sidewalks of
America, gift-wrapped with instructions on how to start picking a tune. Brave
musicians would also parachute in to organize music jams and provide instruction
and inspiration to the tuneless. The day would conclude with mile-long conga
lines of citizens, tooting away on kazoos and saxophones, clanging on cymbals
and shaking maracas, wending their way through town collecting unwanted
instruments for future airdrops and raising money for the care of infirm
musicians;
That April 4th be declared National Get It Off Your Chest Day. On
this national holiday, people would reach out and yell at someone or something
that has been bothering them for much too long. People who have something to get
off their chest would offer particularly thorny roses to those they feel have
wronged them or annoyed them in some way. Artists would design holiday cards
with intensely honest messages inside. In town centers, citizens would celebrate
this holiday by holding television throwing competitions, politician dunking
games, and collective scream-outs. This wouldn’t be a particularly fun holiday,
but a cathartic one, and who said all holidays had to be fun?;
That the third Saturday in May be declared Kiss an Herbalist Day.
This is the day we would buy, give or receive healing herbal plants for our
gardens, backyards, schoolyards, window boxes, and parks. Chamomile, Echinacea,
St. John’s Wort, Ginseng, Garlic, Licorice: after a few years, these and other
healing herbs would start flourishing everywhere, and in what were the most
unlikely places: doctor’s offices, police stations, drug stores, laudromats.
People would create aromatic herbal garlands, and wear them or hang them on
their doors. On Kiss an Herbalist Day, herbalists would hold free teach-ins on
how to use and care for the herbs. And be kissed;
That September 27th be declared Acupuncture Your Town Day. Earlier
in the summer, acupuncturists, energy healers, dowsers and feng shui
consultants would comb their towns to identify places where they felt the town’s
energy or vitality was particularly blocked or deficient. Artists would then
connect these places together in a chain, adorning the route with streamers,
messages, murals, and public sculpture. On the day in question, people would
parade along the route in bright clothes, tossing flower petals. When they reach
each low energy point, they would erect a maypole and hold concerts and fiestas.
In the evening, carolers would walk the route, stopping at the poles and at
homes along the route, to make uplifting music. At midnight the poles would be
taken down amidst much whistle blowing and fanfare. Whenever possible, trees and
flower beds would be planted at these sites, with volunteers taking on the job
of caring for them for the years to come.
Contact Whole Health Solutions for help creating a holistic holiday in your
town. No kidding!
2009 Karlo Berger. Some rights reserved. Website Design by Solid Uncoated.
Thanks to Hannah Burr, Kristin Granli, and Jim Kelly.